I saw this dog, he had an amazing white coat and dark red streaks under his eyes. I said;

“What a beautiful dog! Why does it look like his eyes were bleeding?”
“Oh, that’s because his eyes were bleeding.”
“Isn’t that problem?”
“It’s OK, it’s from his food.”

That would never fly with a baby.

“Hey, are your baby’s eyes bleeding?”
“Yeah, its from the food we’re giving her.”
“Is there glass in that food?”
“Yeah. It’s mostly glass.”


  1. oodlesofpun posted this
About Me
This is the tumblr page of human comedian Nick Vatterott. Check out his website at www.nickvatterott.com and his twitter that is written on post-its all over the inside of the tool shed in his back yard.